Encouragement

I needed some encouragement and I went to what is becoming my favorite book "Hugs for New Moms" by Stephanie Howard. LeAnn Weiss personalizes scriptures at the beginning of each chapter and that is what I wanted today.

I took charge

Today I had to cancel an engagement I had for tomorrow - it would have been really fun. But, I have been batteling anxiety for the past couple of days and it was overwhelming me to think about all I had on my calendar this week and I needed to cut stuff out. So I cancelled tomorrow and felt like I had failed. Then my dear husband told me - no, I did not fail. I took control and did what I had to instead of going and then feeling even worse tomorrow.

I took control and today, the control was for me to cancel.

It felt good for a change.

The song "Stronger"

I heard this song last Saturday as I was listening to the Weekend Top 20 Christian songs and I just listened to the words and was touched. I actually started crying in the car. I wanted to share it - I have never heard any other songs by Mandisa but this one was good.

It's called "Stronger".

Stronger

Here are the words:

Hey, heard you were up all night
Thinking about how your world ain't right
And you wonder if things will ever get better
And you're asking why is it always raining on you
When all you want is just a little good news
Instead of standing there stuck out in the weather

Oh, don't hang your head
It's gonna end
God's right there
Even if it's hard to see Him
I promise you that He still cares

When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
And things can only get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger
Gonna make you stronger, stronger, stronger
Believe me, this is gonna make you ...

Try and do the best you can
Hold on and let Him hold your hand
And go on and fall into the arms of Jesus
Oh, lift your head it's gonna end
God's right there
Even when you just can't feel Him
I promise you that He still cares

'Cause if He started this work in your life
He will be faithful to complete it
If only you believe it
He knows how much it hurts
And I'm sure that He's gonna help you get through this

When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
In time it's gonna get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger

A letter from a friend

A dear friend (KB) sent me a card around the time Ella was born and I just found it last week and re-read it. It made my day and much of what she said really touched my heart even now, in the time of life that I am, with my past and struggle with PPD. She writes:

"I can do all things (give birth, be a wonderful wife, mommy, daughter, sister and friend) through Christ who strengthens me." Phil. 4:13

....May you go on with much courage and strength and hope and peace facing this scary and daunting situation as the dear brave women that I am. You are not alone. You are dearly loved by so many......You are an amazing wife, a wonderful friend and I know you will be a fantastic mom.

....God would not give you this child if you were not exactly what he/she needs to fulfill God's plan. All your strength, weaknesses, failures and triumphs are perfectly matched to your baby."

~Thanks to my friend for speaking those words years ago - you are greatly appreciated.

Quote from Corrie Ten Boom

I heard this on the radio tonight and really liked it. I actually laughed when I heard it because I think the last line is just funny and yet so true!

I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ~Corrie Ten Boom

Nearness of GOD

A dear friend today has been praying for me to feel the nearness of God during my times of anxiety.

That gave me comfort. I sometimes think very little of God's nearness to me, even in general. My mind does not automatically go to that characteristic of Christ. I admit that, but that is also something that I am trying to change.