The JOY of
Motherhood.
You are an incredible mom. Whether you
are a birth mom, adopted mom, step mom, stay at home mom, working
full-time mom, working part-time mom or a pregnant mom. You are
amazing.
When I first was diagnosed with PPD/PPA
nearly 8 years ago with my first child, my first thought was “Why
can’t I be the mom that is all put together — like Sally? What is
wrong with me?” And for months, that thought swirled in my head. I
compared myself to every single mom I saw at church, in the grocery
store, even the complete stranger walking down the street. I always
assumed that they must have it all together and that I was just a
good-for-nothing mom, who was so depressed and anxious that I must be
a terrible mother to my daughter.
My favorite saying is “Comparison is
the thief of all joy.” I vividly remember reading that quote one
day and it was like a light went off in my brain. I was missing the
most incredible days and years with my kids because I was comparing.
I didn’t think that perhaps I was pretty cool and awesome. I didn’t
give myself enough credit to realize and remember that most
importantly I was the best and perfect mom for MY kids.
We add so many extra pressures to
motherhood — clean house, have meals ready to go, have weekly play
dates, toys always picked up, makeup and clothes on each day
(absolutely no yoga pants allowed) — the list could go on and on.
All these extra pressures and the
comparing of ourselves makes us lose focus on the most important
blessing we have — our kids. That is what is most important. Loving
them, caring for them, telling them they are incredible themselves,
listening to them, and just “being” there for them.
As a mom who has suffered from
Postpartum Depression with my first and Post Adoption Rage with my
second, I will admit — it’s hard some days. I wish that perinatal
mood disorders were not part of my past. I wish that I didn’t
experience and live those years of pain and depression and feeling
like a loser. For any mom experiencing those feelings, I understand.
But remember — you are INCREDIBLE, AMAZING, PERFECT, and the BEST
mom. Don’t compare yourself to the mom next door. Allow the JOY of
your kids make you get up each day and do it again. Happy Mother’s
Day to each of you — and may your Mother’s Day be filled with
love and joy and happiness and the realization that you are simply
the best.
