The Valley of Weeping does not end there.

I have been slowly reading a book by Linda Dillow called, "A Deeper Kind of Calm". There have been alot of things that I am liking, and alot of ideas that are hitting home for me. She points out that in the Psalms, David and others teach us to:

I remember

I hide

I cling

I journey

AND

my Valley of Weeping becomes

a Place of Blessings.

I love her phrase of my Valley of Weeping becoming a Place of Blessings. My last 4 years have been a Valley of weeping for me personally. PPD is a deep pain, both physically and emotionally.For me, I know that in the midst of my valley of weeping, I was in no place to call it a blessing. Far from it. But now, I am beginning to understand what that might look like.

Today she challenged the reader to make a "remembrance list". A list of things that happened in the middle of a challenge or storm, or trial and to show and prove that the Lord was there. She write, "Walking through seasons of pain has been the schoolroom where I have gone deeper into knowing the Holy One as the Blessed Controller of all things. Intimacy with the Lord has blossomed in the prison of pain."

Here is the start of my remembrance list:

1. I've seen that through the years of pain, I still desire God. I still desire to grow in Him, in His wisdom, even though there were some days when I just wanted to stop trying.
2. I've seen that He has put people into my life who challenge me to trust in Him - they remind me to.
3. I've seen that my relationship with my dear husband is deeper than it might have been if we had not gone through this trial together. We had to quickly learn to love and lean on each other in the tough times early on.
4. I've seen my little girl grow to have a very kind, gentle heart towards others who are in pain. She is very aware of my bad days, and her kindness amazes me some days. She has seen pain, she understand pain and she desires to shower love on those who need it most.
5. There is now way that I could write about this even 1 year ago - the Lord has been patient with me.