Perhaps that is why, that for a lot of Luca's life the past few months, I have been trying to remember certain things that he does that I don't remember doing with Ella. I am sure I did, but I was so sick, that most days, when she was a baby, I did nothing.
Today, as I was holding Lucas, he and I starting playing this little game that we have been doing for months. I refer to it as the "do you need another love?" game.
Whenever he is sitting in my lap facing me, he will throw his face into my chest and bury his head, then 3 seconds later lift his head and laugh. I then say, "Do you need another love?" and he does it again. Over and over. Today, I changed it to "Mama needs a Lukie Love" - he'd throw his face into me and giggle and give me a hug.
It's things like that that I don't want to forget.
1 comment:
Oh I know this all too well.
I cannot remember much of anything during the first year aside from the pain. It overshadowed parenting and loving and enjoying.
But look at it this way, she is 6 now and that is a new time for her and you...experience it and take it all in.
Second chances are a blessing. I don't know how it can trigger the grief again in losing out on so much since I only have one, but I imagine that it isn't easy.
There is so many more opportunities to be had and stored in that memory bank of yours. Promise.
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