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Monday, June 1, 2015

A birthday of JOY and Strength

It's tradition that I write something on my kids' birthday. I'm 24 hours late, but the post has been mulling for 2 days so it counts right? :)

My girl is 8. How that happened I don't know. It seems like yesterday that I gave birth to the 9lb 10oz bundle of joy that she was. Yes, she was a big baby and I'm still proud to this day of that accomplishment!

Honestly, though, her birthday is always filled with sadness for me, a day filled with looking back in time, of realizing her birth started the downward cycle of PPD that took years away from me, years of memories of my daughter that I still can't remember. Yes, usually her birthday is a very hard day for me, emotionally and mentally.

Thankfully, this year, it was the first year where I was just so happy and filled with joy. As the years pass, so do the memories of PPD, but also, as the years pass, I remember how strong I am. I walked a road that many mom do, but I am stronger for it. I survived and my daughter has been instrumental in my healing. She is kind, she is sweet, she is understanding and this past year, I have seen a strength and strongness (yes, I just made that word up) in her that is rare in kids her age. She has learned to be strong in her own road of pain, and I realized on her birthday, we are very much alike. She's battle physical pain that I can't understand and she always fights. Today, she's gone 85 days without pain, without a fever. She's happy and for that I am SO grateful.

Everyone always says, she is the smitten image of her daddy, and yes, I have to agree. But, she's got my strongness in her and I'll take that!!!!

Happy Birthday Ella Kathleen - your mama is proud of you and your sweetness that you show to all.