Somday my biggest fear and question is : Will I ever be "me" again? Will I ever feel like the "normal" me that I was before all this junk happened? As I have been reading diffferent PPD blogs recently, I am finding that I am not the only PPD mom out there with the say question rambling in her head. And what I have read is pretty much the same everywhere. No. I will not the me again. ever. again.
Me is now different because I have walked a road very few moms are willing to admit to others. The "me" now is scared, broken. But, because of this walk, I can be a more compassionate, loving, caring, wiser, understanding woman, with knowledge under my belt that most will never understand unless you have walked the road.
Sometimes, though, I really just want to be the "me" that I have known for 30+ years. This new "me" is all too new. I don't know how to operate properly yet.