Today, while talking to someone, I had a realization, based on something she said to me. We were talking about adoption and she said that she knows it can be very stressful, etc.... and then said, "And I'm sure it's hard having to explain to everyone why you aren't having more kids by birth, and ask you if there is something wrong with me, are you infertile or something like that."
Yes, it is hard. Some days I feel like I have to justify to others why we are choosing this path.
I don't mean to sound rude but if you have to ask me if there is something wrong with me, then you don't know me well enough. I know many people mean well, but in the Christian realm, many put alot of stock and value in the number of kids one has and how many they can have in the shortest amount of time.
It was a huge boost for me to day, for someone to acknowledge to me that she understood that this time for me IS AND CAN BE stressful since there is an expectation put upon me to perform in bearing kids like everyone else does.
It's not that simple and it can be painful when I know people ask my other family members behind my back why we only have one child. Yes, I know that it happens. I love my daughter with all my heart, and am just as filled as a mother as someone who has had 5 children in the last 5 years.
If you sense that I am upset today, then you are correct. But I am being honest, and since this blog is for me, I am writing how I feel.